Feelings

‘Tell me you love me.’
‘What?’
‘Tell me you love me.’
‘I love you.’ A startled voice

a resurfacing memory… ‘I dreamt of another girl last night.’

‘Make me feel it. Make me feel you love me.’

…a stolen night, on an empty shore.

‘What did you feel?’
‘I was in two parts….’
‘No! Tell me what you felt. No sugar coating. Don’t be afraid of hurting me…’ I am invincible.
‘I felt neglected.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ shouts, mad ravings.
‘How could I?’
‘How could you not?’
‘But –‘
‘You say, yes I do mind. No, I’d rather do something else. You tell me you feel alone, like an outsider looking in. Don’t patronise me. Don’t lie to me. I hate it when you lie to me.’

…strong, secure arms. Loving arms. The kind you could die it.

‘But you promised.’
‘I know, but –‘
‘You broke a promise.’

…Tears, splashing, on a page. A face. A teddy bears shoulder.

‘I’m so afraid of losing you.’
‘You won’t lose me.’
‘It’s so easy to say it. Words are so easy. So easy to lie by, to lie to. Hide things, from yourself, from others. So easy to believe. I know. I’ve done it.’

…a tidal wave of joy. Of anticipation. Of love.

‘I need to feel that you love me.’
‘I do.’
‘I know you do. But I need to feel it. I need to feel that I’m more important than your games, than your work. I need to feel your arms around me. Holding me. So tight. Holding on like you won’t ever let go. Like I’m life itself.’
‘I want to.’

…a soft, tender kiss. The brush of a dewy rose petal.

‘I need you right now.’
‘I need you too.’
‘Nothing feels like it used to.’
‘I would give anything to take back the past’
‘Ignore the past. Move onto the future.’
‘I do love you.’
‘I know. I love you too.’

…rain, swishing contentedly upon a window pane. Soft droplets of water. So close to tears. Yet so far.